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[link] Blog with my thoughts. It's a bit personal but not too much, that's what my journal is for.
Time is slow.She's trapped in time.Time is slow. by *wantme234
"I can't take it...I can't take it..I can't fucking take it"
She whispers as her tears rush down.
She stuck in all the moments she regrets.
Everyone and everything is moving.
She watches them, all alone.
Over and over again.
It will never end.
She has no where to go.
She's not even sure what she is looking for..or who.
There is this one particular person she watches the most
All the other people are blurry..
Yet, somehow he is the most vivid.
She had always been drawn towards this particular person.
Not sexually or obsessively.
She found him the most interesting.
That maybe, he was her way out.
Out of the loneliness and
And they don't notice me.And they don't notice me.And they don't notice me. by *wantme234
Even when I speak.
I don't exist.
They can't see me.
I continuously try to be noticed.
And that ends up in failure.
The one's I want to notice me, simply see nothing at all.
I'm not sure if it's the way I look.
What creates this distance?
What repels them from me?
If I change, then will they notice me?
I yearn to be notice in a positive perspective.
Yet, they see nothing.
Maybe because I'm nothing.
I'm no one.
Please, notice me.
This noise, this person, this thing.
I can be the best thing you encounter.
Give me a chance.
Open your eyes.
One day I'll return.It soothes me.One day I'll return. by *wantme234
For a moment my mind isn't filled with chaotic memories and a projected future.
The present is peaceful, just this once.
The waves of the ocean, the cool winds and the stillness of sound.
For once I'm at ease. Even though this moment will soon cease. I wish not to go..
I cannot fathom leaving t his place. I hope soon to return to this place.
This place that temporarily saves me from my disappointing reality.
I now have to return to my reality.
The thought angers and saddens me
But there is nothing I can do..
I promise to be back; I have to..
When will it end?Will the tears finally end?When will it end? by *wantme234
Will the painful heart throbbing end?
Will the judgment end?
Will the despair end?
Will the heavy breathing end?
Will the sleepless nights end?
Will the failing friendships end?
Will the failing relationships end?
Will the yelling and screaming end?
Will the hurting end?
Will bad days end?
When will it all be left behind?
Please, let it end.
Scared.She's scared to admitScared. by *wantme234
That all she wants is hapiness, just once.
Someone to love,
and for her to come back..
Is it all too much?
Deep down she loves hugs and wants to be hugged.
And she wants to be loved.
She's too scared to admit she needs someone to talk to.
That sometimes she does not want to be alone.
And when she is quiet, it's usally because she too afraid to say anything.
Too scared to admit she's not alright and wants someone to listen.
She's too scared to admit her emotions to anyone and hides them to herself but they eventually pour out.
She's hurting, and doesn't see an end.
She's scared to admit she is going to leave
Tonight.Tonight, I listen to sad songs then angry ones. I'm letting my emotions take over.Tonight. by *wantme234
Those watering drops from my eyes.
My memories are playing.
My friend is gone gone forever.
The thought is causing the sadness to overwhelm again.
Another thought, a thought of the ones I knew, the ones that threw me away.
I don't matter to them anymore.
Every moment only seems negative.
So I try and trap myself in another world which never satisfies me.
My body is aching physically and emotionally.
I'm stuck and not able to escape.
Stuck in the lonely world I do not belong in.
I cannot even scream because I have no voice.
The outcome of passing timeEverything has changedThe outcome of passing time by *wantme234
I remain the same
Feeling more alone
Crying so much
Sleeping days away
Missing all those precious memories
Now knowing no one cares for me
Too weak to change the outcome
I can't face it alone
Everyday, every night goes the same
Imagining what I could be
Scared to be forever alone
Forever drowned in despair
As time goes onward
I remain alone in the present
Watching endlessly as others change
Again as always I remain the same
Desperately I search, moving and rearranging
Unable to find anything
Knowing this outcome is no ones fault but